Enjoy some Wedding Jokes!

How many?

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. “How do you know that?” “Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”

A bad deal!

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
He replies, ‘No, I was thinking about the time before our nuptuals.
Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you.
Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!

Who talks the most?

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which proved that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000.

His wife thought about this and told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Her husband looked stunned. He said “What?

Car Trouble

WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”HUSBAND: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”

HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

WIFE: “In the pool.” 

Too late or too early?

A man and his wife arrived at the airport too late and missed their flight.

He said, “If you hadn’t have taken so long getting ready we wouldn’t have missed the flight!”

She said, “If you hadn’t hurried me so, we wouldn’t have had to wait so long for the next flight!” 

Who is counseling?

A marriage counselor listened to a couple tell of their problems for a half an hour.

When they finished he said, “You both are over reacting to minor problems. My fifth wife always did the same thing.” 

Anniversary Wishes

A married couple, both 60 years old, was celebrating their anniversary. A fairy appeared, congratulated them and granted them each one wish.

The wife wanted to go all over the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof – she had tickets in her hand for a world tour.

Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said; “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.”

So the fairy picked up her wand and poof – the husband was 90. 

This time.. in time?

A man said to his wife, “Darling, I have tickets for the theatre”

She said, wonderful, I’ll start getting ready right away.”

He said, “Yes, please do, because the tickets are for tomorrow night and we shouldn’t be late.” 

The unwise farmer

On their 50th wedding anniversary, the farmer’s wife said she was leaving him.

He asked, “Why?” She said, “Because you don’t love me.”

He asked, “Why do you say that?” She said, “Because you never say that you love me!”

He replied, “I told you that I love you on our wedding day. If I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know!” 

More Jokes..

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